Can I Draft Myself for my Fantasy Baseball Team?

I just got done playing in the only softball game I will be able to attend with the men’s league from my church this season, and I must say, I’m thinking about changing my name to Barry.

I found out I would be batting third (eek!) which meant our coach had what I felt was some misplaced faith in me (I haven’t swung a bat in almost six months). My first at bat I watched the first three balls go by in an effort to reacquaint myself with the rhythm the pitcher and to remember how to hit a softball. It’s much, much different from hitting a baseball-you have to wait…and wait…and wait…wait some more…and then swing. It’s hard to do!When I finally did swing, I hit this looping pop fly that managed to land in front of the right fielder for a base hit. It wasn’t pretty, but it wasn’t an out.

Two innings later, I was up again. I remember watching the first pitch go by and then waiting on the second one. On the third pitch, I reared back and then absolutely cranked one high and deep to right field. The wind was blowing out tonight and the ball just kept on sailing and soaring through the night until it fell right over the right fielder’s head.  There was another young’un on first base and as I closed the distance on him, I yelled, “WE’RE RUNNING, BABY!” And we were off to the races.

I saw the ball roll to the fence but after that, I turned on the jets and raced my way around the bases, lunging for home and touching it a few steps behind the guy in front of me and well ahead of the incoming throw. It was my second career (albeit they were both inside-the-park) homerun and my goodness, is it an awesome feeling to have everyone of your teammates come out of the dugout to high-five and congratulate you on your way in. I enjoyed the moment completley.

We ended up winning 22-9, I grounded out weakly my next at bat and smoked a single in my last but it will be a while before I forget about that shot I hit to right field. It may have been the wind or a misplay by the fielder, but dammit, I hit the shit out of that ball and I’m going to be happy about it!

Watch out Barry, only 760 more to go!


2 Responses to “Can I Draft Myself for my Fantasy Baseball Team?”

  1. The guy on first was clogging the bases.

  2. I’d say to give steroids a chance in an effort to catch Barroid, but by the time you finished your head would look similar to Mr. Mackey’s.

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